Day 18- Rehabilitation- Psalm 143- Seek God In The Midst of Disappointment

This week has been the ever famous third week of rolling emotions.  I say this, because in every kind of recovery, there is inevitably some kind of set back, or issue that causes the dreaded emotions and what ifs of any situation.  As a Christian, I genuinely largely refrain from that question, but in the still, small, quiet hours of three AM in a hospital, it sneaks up on you.  And then it sits like a heavy brick on your chest.  And then, you have to ask the doctor, therapist, specialist etc... what if?  

That moment came yesterday.  I had been awake two solid nights, and laid awake at 3 am and had some kind of cosmic revelation (in my own mind) that took me back to Wyatt's recovery from the first major orthopedic overhaul he had 4 years ago.  I started doing the math and counting weeks... and BAM!  I came to the conclusion that we were not nearly even close to where he had progressed to at this point in his rehab last time.  Enter brick on chest.  Finally 7 A.M. rolled around, I got Wyatt up and out to therapy, and then I called my Mom, because I needed to say words that not anyone else on this planet would understand at that moment.  After my mental moment of weakness, I took her advice.  I went back to the therapy clinic while Wyatt was in an activity, and talked to his physical therapist Ms. Shannon.  

After a couple of minutes of talking, I realized that I was truly seeing Wyatt's situation for what it was.  He was not going to have the monumental recovery he had last time. At that point, Wyatt wasn't even looking like he was going to walk out of the hospital.  The reality yesterday was that it was going to be another 3-4 months before he was back to walking full time.  He was going to be dependent on a wheelchair.  

And then I let my emotions take me for a joy ride for a little while.

I struggled with the thought, "He walked into this hospital in April to have surgery to make it better, and now he's not even going to leave here as good as he was?"   Yea.  That's a big one.  I assure you, my anger, and resentment could have taken control quite quickly.  I wrestled with how to ask God why, without shaking my indigent fist at Him.  And I sulked.  Alot.   And I faced reality.  I can't even say I prayed at this point... because any words I said to God at all were not reverent, or with any kind of heart of joy or love, or anything remotely appearing holy or righteous.  Selfish.  That's about the only word I can use to describe what I felt.  How hard it was going to be to have two babies in wheelchairs.  How hard it was going to be for us to do anything as a family because Wyatt would require so much more than he had been in the past.  Going out in public, taking him hunting, anything that brought him joy was going to take more effort from me.  

Selfish.

So this morning,  after going through our "Shreveport" morning routine,  I regrouped, spent time in Proverbs (I would say I had a heart condition and Proverbs always gives me the right medicine), and studies in Acts, and attempted to reign in my emotions.  I won't say it was easy... but I am thankful I did.  I went back to a conversation Wyatt had yesterday with Ms. Shannon while they were walking... he finally admitted to her he was in pain.  So after consulting with Ms. Shannon and the nurse, we decided to try pain medicine preemptively in stead of treating symptoms.  

It worked.  

Wyatt walked twice the distance today in half the time.  

Does this mean he is going to walk out of here next Friday? Highly unlikely.  But it gave me something I desperately needed- Hope.  I have to remember that no matter what happens, my hope is in something Eternal.  And I have to remember that what ever happens, it happens to bring honor and glory to God.  In whatever shape or form that takes.  I have to be confident in him.  

I came across this passage of scripture that was exactly what I needed to hear- 

Psalms 143 

6 I stretch forth my hands unto thee: my soul thirsteth after thee, as a thirsty land. Selah.

7 Hear me speedily, O Lord: my spirit faileth: hide not thy face from me, lest I be like unto them that go down into the pit.

8 Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.

9 Deliver me, O Lord, from mine enemies: I flee unto thee to hide me.

10 Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness.

My enemy?  My doubting Thomas self.  I am so thankful for a God who answers prayers, and walks this journey with us, even when we doubt the aspects of his love and devotion to His children.  In spite of myself, He is still there... using all of us for His Glory.  

I am so sorry I didn't seek Him early, so that maybe this could have all turned out differently (at least emotionally) but still thankful for the truth it presented for me to face.  

Days 5 & 6- Rehabilitation- Through Christ...

Days 5 & 6 were nothing spectacular.  We are making decent progress through the day, finding our rhythm through therapy and school, and still tending to as much as we can back home from here.  Wyatt continues to get stronger, and walk further.  We had a group of volunteer entertainers come through, and Wyatt got in on some of it, but made the big kid decision he was here to work rather than play.  He misses home, and recognizes what the whole family is sacrificing by us being here.  

Nana sent money with us so Wyatt could get a break from the hospital food, and he tells me everyday he can't wait to get home so I can cook again.  

We miss home.... But I feel like such a brat because I am getting to come home every weekend, and there are kids from Panama who have been here with their parents for 6 months.  I can't even imagine.  We have been gone three days, and are already homesick.  

Today, as long as my focus and goal is to bring honor and glory to Christ... We can press on.  As long as in the end our hearts goals and desires were to glorify him, and whatever goal we are trying to reach is for His glory...

Philippians 4:13 

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheth me.  

Amanda 

John 11:4 

Day 3 & 4- Rehabilitation- According To His Purpose

Day three and four updates posted together today because, well I fell asleep and didn't post last night.  

Wyatt had a great day on day three.  He only walked in the afternoon, and did a Lego/brick builders activity in the afternoon.  Wyatt is only one of four English speaking kids here this time around, the rest of the kids are from Panama.  Wyatt was paired with a Spanish speaking teenager, so the fact that they wear able to get anything done right is amazing. He and this young man now play video games in the teen lounge during their down time. It amazes me that friendship can cross even language barriers. 

Today (day 4) we got the not so good news- as much as we were hoping for a two week stay, Shannon feels like it's going to be 4 weeks.  We were both pretty bummed out about it, but like I told Wyatt, we knew it was a possibility.  

And we know that all things work together for good, to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose. 

Romans 8:28 

So, while we both wanted this to be a quick stay, we know there is a reason, and a purpose for being here.  As hard as it is, I am thankful for cell phones, FaceTime, and Facebook.  It helps pass the time, and keep the homesick at bay.  

We are headed home for the weekend,but will coming back with a head and heart ready to work hard. 

Amanda 

John 11:4 

Day 2: Rehabilitation- Faint Not

Remember yesterday's post, when I said that everyday would be different, and that I never know what to expect with Mr. Wyatt?  

This morning turned out to be one of those mornings- I made the mistake of letting little man sleep in a little bit (okay, maybe I overslept a little too) and the struggle was on!  We rolled into physical therapy 5 minutes late (it's only down the hall)- and then Wyatt got a good stretch.  He worked really hard yesterday and Miss Shannon wants to make sure she takes good care of his muscles.  Then he had an hour of occupational therapy, in which he has decided during his tenure here to build this large wooden eagle model (pictures will follow on this one in the coming days, I am sure.  There is talk of repairs with a hot glue gun, we shall see....).  

Then we had down time for two hours and decided to take a much needed (or wanted) trip to Target.  We shopped out the things we needed (I am going to do my best to start the 21 day fix again tomorrow AM and I got what I could to follow as closely as possible), and some clothing things for Wyatt and headed to the check out. Y'all know me.  I talk to everyone.  It's in my nature.  I LOVE to talk.  So the lady in front of me and I were conversating and she was about to check out and go- and she looked at me and asked if she could get my stuff too.  Y'all.  I of course tried to talk her out of it, but in the end she graciously blessed Wyatt and I.  Not because she bought a bunch of our stuff for us, but because she wanted to do something and acted on that feeling.  I cannot express to you what it did to my heart to have someone do that for me.  Just because she could, and wanted to.  

How often do we think- I should do something- but I don't know what.  Or I should say something, or pay someone a compliment- but we don't? Guys, these promptings don't come from us, but from an amazing Holy Spirit that talks to our hearts daily.  Don't try to rob someone of a blessing- let that blessing inspire you to bless another.. And another... And another.  The world needs more good- and we CAN change the world with Christian love- just by being the blessing.  I smiled all day from that small gesture that she made- a purchase that will get me through the week and possibly next here- and got to share that blessing with others just by sharing it with the nurses here- they were excited to hear something good happening in their community.

Thank you just seemed so insignificant... 

  

What good can you do, right where you sit, today, tomorrow, or next week?  

Galatians 6:9-10a

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.  As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all (men)...

Y'all.  Let's just do some good.... 

Amanda

John 11:4

Rehabilitation- Day 1- Be Strong, and of Good Courage

The much anticipated day of fall finally arrived-rehab.  The mother in me both dreaded and looked forward to it. I love investing in my children, but hate being away from the rest of the family.  

If you know us, what I am about to say is no surprise- life with Wyatt can be quite trying at times.  Wyatt has his very own way of thinking, and his very own strong willed way of doing things as well.  Most definitely 13- most definitely opinionated- and unfortunately he has paired with it being extremely soft hearted.  All that considered, we walk such a fine line in how hard and fast to push him, because there are no warning signs before you reach the emotional cliff, and then it's a long hard push back up the incline to start all over.  

Today, however, Wyatt woke up ready to work.  In his first morning physical therapy session, Wyatt was stretched out, assessed, measured, and even stood a little bit without the support of bracing.  We then braced up and walked about ten steps before moving on to occupational therapy.  

This afternoon, Miss Shannon braced him up immediately and set him to walking.  With breaks intermittently, Wyatt walked about 55 feet or so with the support of a walker.  He was very pleased with his first day, and so was I!  

God has been so good to us in this journey.  My prayer since the very first surgery has been that something would ignite a fire and drive in Wyatt to do better and be better to his body.  I pray that Wyatt will understand before it's too late that he has a choice in what happens to his body, and that if he will do right now he won't be left with what could have been prevented and a permanent problem with his body.  That is my prayer for him physically, anyway.  Spiritually I pray that he can one day see the impact he has had in this walk, and what more he can do to further the gospel with the power of his testimony. 

Be strong and of good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for The Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee;  he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. 

Deutaronomy 31:6 

Amanda 

John 11:4 

Relief

I don't often get to participate in Five Minute Friday brought to you by Kate Motaung.  I enjoy it when I do!  One word prompt, five minutes, just write.  This week's prompt is: 

I love the hymn "What A Friend We Have In Jesus." The old hymn has the line "...what a privilege to carry... everything to God in care." 

Often, I seek relief in things and people of this world, when truly I should take my needs and cares to the Lord.  He has the solution that ultimately I need, but often I don't have the patience want to wait for that answer.  I acknowledge I live in an immediate gratification society, and it's so hard to know there are times when I must be still, and wait for the answer, but in the mean time I must realize that my relief is immediate because in speaking to my Lord and Saviour, there should be immediate relief, because He already knows my need, and knows where the relief will come from.  

Do we truly look at it as a privilege to carry our burdens to the cross?  Do we seek him for the relief we need as often as we should?  I know I lack in the discipline to take my need to the cross.  Having Christ is a privilege, and the relief I find there is amazing.  

In Christ,

Amanda 

Five Minute Friday: Keep

Five minute Friday is a group of people who blog for *only* five minutes with a one word prompt.  I love this- and am trying to make a more concerted effort to participate!

Without further ado....

Keep

The Bible counsels us in numerous places about keeping and protecting out hearts.  In today's age, I know this can be such a struggle.  How do you keep yourself from the world's invasion into your heart when we are to be in the world, but not of the world?

Stay diligent friend!  Your friends, loved ones, and children are looking at what is flowing from your spring!  Is it selfishness, love, hate, service, compassion, or disdain?  What goes in is what flows out... and it can be so hard to keep the positive flow, but it is so worth it!  It's not easy, but if you are fortunate enough you have people to come along side you and lift you when you cannot lift yourself.  Be strong- and of good courage.  It's all worth it in the end.  

Are you keeping your heart for the Lord... or is the world helping keep it busy?

Creating Study Sheets That Work For You

Today I am showing you something that I was inspired to create based on several examples I found online.  For me, I am left handed, and need something I can take out independently and write on.  I didn't want anything in a notebook form like The Redheaded Hostess has offered over on her blog, because if you are studying in depth you would have to purchase several.  Plus having the printable on hand gives me the freedom to organize it out I please, and organize it how I want.  In notebooks, I cannot add or remove and move them around.  Plus, I cannot compile what from several without hauling around several notebooks.  It's just not workable for me, and I couldn't find where she had created a single sheet purchase for it- each notebook on her sight is $12.95.  It was just not a flexible fit for my needs.

These printables were created in Stampin' Up's My Digital Studio.  It took me about 2 days to get the hang of it and figure it out- but you get the idea!  I am not comfortable offering these as a free download as of right now, but wanted to share the tools I have been using to get a deeper knowledge of the Bible.  In growing *stronger* in Christ, I get my family stronger as well.  We all benefit from a deeper knowledge of the Lord.  If you have any questions about these designs, you can either click on the link above and purchase her notebooks, or I can help you create something for yourself.  

Get Stronger Spiritually! New Free Printable

In my quest to get stronger spiritually, I started back in November working on having the tools in place to make that happen.  Today, I am going to share with you a printable to break down your sermons! I am a note taker.  I have to write it down if I am ever going retain it.  But then what do you do with it?

For me, breaking it down further than just notes is important as well.  So here is a tool for you to use!  I made these in an 8.5x11 format so that you can punch holes in it, organize it by books (as in all the sermons you heard from Genesis, Exodus, etc), or date.  However you want.  Just be able to use the notes you took beyond the day you took them!

They are pretty straight forward, lots of note space and key words & phrases, and personal application!  

 Feel free to use these all you want for your personal use.  These are not to be reproduced or sold for use with permission from the creator (me!).  I created these printables for personal use only.

Let me know what you think!  

Welcome

This is my first post on five minute Fridays.  In this wonderful and inspiring group, you are given a prompt, and for five minutes, you write about that prompt.

Today's prompt- Welcome. Fitting, as I am really just starting to invest my time in sharing the Lord in our lives, because I wanted a more neutral environment (blogging, neutral? eh, I know- but still) to freely share how God is working in our corner of the world and inspiring others.

Welcome- our family is far from perfect, but we are attempting to muddle through this corner of the world, with the cross God has given us to bear, while turning Jesus daily for guidance.

Welcome- we have two children with cerebral palsy, and our walk is quite a bit different.  But then, isn't everyone's walk different, full of hills and valleys, wins and losses?

Welcome- I look forward to sharing with you big wins, epic failures, and different ways I try to make our lives easier- even when they end up making our life harder in the end!

Welcome- and know, that my family's most intense desire is to let His light shine through us- even if it's through a broken pot (because sometimes beauty comes from the most imperfect and unexpected places!).

Welcome to my tiny little blog- I hope you feel encouraged here, and come back to visit soon!

Amanda

Get Stronger With Me Spiritually!!

This week, I am sharing some of the printables for study purposes I have been inspired to design!  When I chose the word Stronger for 2015, I knew it would be multi-faceted.  Spiritually speaking, I  know I have been luke-warm, and I don't want to be anymore!

I want to have an in depth love,thirst, and knowledge of Jesus.  I want to venture beyond the milk, and get to the meat of scripture.   I want to be comfortable sharing what I learn with people I love, and strangers alike.  In order for that to happen (in my eyes, anyway) I need to study, and have tools to study with!

My generation was what I believe was the beginning of the massive paperwork study type generation. So when I set out to look for study sheets for the Bible, I was really taken aback at what I found to be a lack of what I needed.  I found a couple of  things that somewhat met my need, but not entirely.  I found notebooks at The Redheaded Hostess that were supposed to be appropriate for all faiths, not just Mormon, but I wanted something I could print over and over and organize and re-organize as time went, but would still want to be able to read my notes (and use them for teaching or family devotions).  Then I found a few printables at One of A Kind Gifts, but nothing seemed to hold the key to entirely giving me what I wanted.  I appreciated what these ladies had given, and they inspired me, but I wanted something along those lines, but more me. So I created a whole slew of printables for me, and decided to go ahead and share them with the blog world.  If you need something like this, please feel free to download them and use them as much as you need, but please do not sell them or reproduce them in a manner than that is for personal study only! Thank You!

Over the next week, I will be slowly rolling out some of the things I designed and will be using in my own personal studies.  These might be for accountability, character (and characteristic) study, studying the Bible by Chapter & Book, devotion help sheets, sermon breakdowns, or just your daily check up checklist.

If you are anything like me, it is easy to hit the ground running in the morning with the intention of spending time with the Lord "later" and then it's dinner time and bedtime before you know it, and you haven't spent any time with the Lord, in His Word, or any time in prayer.  I can totally admit my shortcomings, and I wanted to change that this year!

Whether you believe it takes 21 or 66 days to develop habits, the truth is, it takes time, accountability and consistency, regardless of a timeline.  For me, this accountability comes in the form of a checklist.  I need a constant reminder to take a break from my daily to-do list to make time for God. I hate that I am that way, but I  want to be real.  So here is my check-list.  It has space for 6 weeks of checklist style reminders- Prayer/Journal, Bible Reading, Scripture Memory.  All very important aspects of my study time.  You can  download this here or click on the picture to download.

The other thing I am sharing today is a devotion sheet.  It's easy to breeze through reading a small devotion and check it off the list, but I wanted to really take the time to understand what my devotion 

was trying to teach me and how to apply it to my life.  So, here is a sheet for you usage as  well.

You can click here to download and  use this printable or click on the image to download.  

Enjoy, and I look forward to sharing with you over this next week!! 

One Word 365- Choose One Word for the Year

Ditch the resolutions- Choose a word!

I love this!  I hate failing, and I usually fail at resolutions after about February.  So, the last few years, I have been loosely participating in something different-

Last year, I chose- Peace.  Ugh.  that was a distinct invitation to Satan- please, come rain chaos in my life.  This year, no thanks.  I chose-

My goal is to be Stronger in the following areas:

1) Spiritually Stronger- More study time, more study tools, more family study time, more Bible Reading, morning devotion as a family (and yes... I will be sharing these awesome new tools with you!).

2) Physically Stronger- I am not going to set a weight loss goal for this year, or anything like that, I am just going to work on being healthier, and stronger, and stronger willed (pass on the ice cream once in awhile, ya know?).

3) Personally Stronger- In homemaking, being a wife, being a mother.  I started this journey in November when I realized I couldn't stand the chaos and disorganization anymore.  Meal planning, home management binder organization, cleaning schedule.  You name it.  It's happening around here.  It's a slow process, but that's why I have a year, right?

Once a month, I am going to be blogging about how this process is going for us (me).  I am hoping by setting standards on growth, my family will come along for the ride as well.  We shall see!!

Until next time!